Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
