It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
