oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize