i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I'm sobbing to NWA
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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