just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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