I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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