drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
