some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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