I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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