If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I just gargled with NyQuil
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
