I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
