I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
