Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I have already put on my inside pants.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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