My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
