i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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