I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
