Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
