could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
