He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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