Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i just had sex bonerless
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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