I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
