I'm so fucking centered right now
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
