Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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