I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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