Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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