ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
3pm strippers are depressing
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
