I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
