Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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