I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
