I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize