bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
