if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
