i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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