I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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