Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
