I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Randomize