I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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