I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
