There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
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