My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Drunk is not a location!
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