how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
