I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
