I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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