Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
