Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
