I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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