I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
