id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
