College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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