Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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