Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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