He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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