Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
