so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
