Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
