Whats the glycemic index on semen?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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