Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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