why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
