The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Please don't give away my fajitas
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
