Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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