Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
