OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
