is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
