when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
