WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
This is the high leading the old right now
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
