You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
He better not be in your backpack
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
