i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
