when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
