Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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