I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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