): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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