I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
The feeling are messing with the penis
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
