You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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