well I can't set my house on fire every night
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize