i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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