Yo dont text me then not text me
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
