Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize
