i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
